The Horrific Horrors of Good Book Disorder

Have you ever been stricken with Good Book Disorder (GBD)? It’s a little known psychological condition that can have extreme ramifications on ones daily life if allowed to go untreated. So be careful! GBD can be caught and prevented if you stay on the lookout for the following symptoms:

1. Unconscious Plot Transference: When one dreams of being an active part in a book or the world of a book.
2. Reduced Sensory Awareness: Everything not required for you to continue reading will be diminished, sometimes to such a degree that your spouse or best friend may be calling your name and jabbing you in the ribs to no avail.
3. Fictional Astral Projection: The event when an individual finds their consciousness transported into the story where they observe the events as an invisible third party. Extended exposure to this symptom can increase Reduced Sensory Awareness.
4. Exaggerated Understanding of Abilities: When an individual tells themself things like, “I can read and drive at the same time.”
5. Literary Addiction: When a reader can’t function on a basic level because they are always picking up the book and reading a few pages, or simply staring at the book while ignoring duties and responsibilities.

If you or a loved one are currently experiencing one or more of the above symptoms, do not worry – all is not lost. Seek immediate help and begin the process of weaning yourself or your loved one off the book. Sit them down to watch movies, provide them with chores, or make them exercise. If none of these suggestions work begin seeking other means to distract them from the offending book.

You may think it a joke, but GBD is no laughing matter. If left untreated it could worsen into Extended Series Syndrome (ESS), Obsessive Reading Disorder (ORD), or a serious case of Book Hangover. Any of which can lead the individual down a dark path where they may, if worst comes to worst, never recover.

With more and more books flooding the markets it is only inevitable that children and adults alike will begin to fall prey to their seductive pages and learn any number of things that could poison the mind. So be on your guard; if you or your loved ones pick up an overly intriguing book, stay wary. Create a plan for intervention, and if you or they begin to show any of the above symptoms initiate intervention procedures right away, for it’s up to each individual to stop the spread of GBD.